A PARENT’S PLEASURE

Isaiah 62; Mark 1: 4-11

In his book TELLING SECRETS, author and Presbyterian minister Frederick Buechner lets the cat out of the bag that in his family they told and kept secrets; they did it all the time; and the secrets had to be respected. One secret that kept his emotional wings clipped from childhood, to teenage years, to marriage years was that his father got up one day, went into his garage, closed the garage, turned on the engine and ended his life. Buechner was taught it was that which was not talked about. So not only did he not know his father, really, not knowing his father, or hearing any words of guidance or affirmation from his father, kept him rather emasculated in his marriage, his ministry, and his fatherhood. When his daughter developed anorexia, she began to grow thinner until she was skin and bones. He wrote: “The only way I knew to be a father was to take care of her, as my father had been unable to take care of me, to move heaven and earth if necessary to make her well, and of course I couldn’t do that. I didn’t have the power or the wisdom to make her well.” And about his father, he wrote “The sadness was I’d lost a father I had never fully found.” What power was drained from that man by never getting to know, but yearning to know, the man who was his father. On the other hand we know that Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was haunted and even tormented by his stern and judging father, perhaps adding to his illness and early death. Novelist Franz Kafka, who was born in Prague, wrote some brilliant short stories before succumbing to a lung disease at age 41. But he was known to be hypersensitive and introspective, and he too felt emasculated by his domineering father. On the other hand, Lyman Beecher, the famous preacher and educator, was a well grounded and moral man with a robust nature and a courageous spirit. He had thirteen children, and one of them was the free-minded and self-assured Harriet Beecher Stowe, author of UNCLE TOM’S CABIN. Another of his children was Henry Ward Beecher, political orator, social reformer, and renowned preacher of a huge urban church in Brooklyn. He, like most of us, was tremendously influence by his parents and his surroundings. He thrived on the good guidance he had. Discerning readers also may have picked up that Louisa May Alcott chose to write autobiographically for her novel LITTLE WOMAN. She had a strong ethical backbone and a sense of self that she credits her mother for giving her. Literature is packed with good and poor examples of parenting.

What do we know from the Bible about the power of parenting, good or bad? Genesis itself is chocked full of stories some of which seem to show less than stellar characters. Abraham once raised a knife to his son, Isaac; Isaac married Rebekah, who, when she had twins, chose to have her husband bless the younger one-Jacob-instead of the older one-Esau. She and God had their chosen one! Jacob, then tricked by Laban, marries not Laban’s daughter that he loved-Rachel- but the daughter Laban wanted him to marry first- Leah. Leah bore him children, but he was still in love with Rachel. Finally he got to marry Rachel but she is barren until, at long last, she bears a son for Jacob named Joseph. Jacob was so taken by that child that came from Rachel—the love of his life—that he made it known to all his other children that Joseph was his favorite: a bad idea. Nevertheless, Joseph knew he was loved, and he had a close relationship with his parents, even if it was a distant one from his brothers. He grew in stature and God blessed his work and his life.

In each of these cases, what a difference was made when and if the parents, or other primary caregivers, exclaimed their pleasure about their children! What a difference that can be from all correction and ridicule! And can you imagine God’s pleasure over you, or do only words of holy judgment ring in your ears? Isaiah 62 is a wonderful source of changing the way you might be experiencing God! God rejoiced over his people Israel, even after enduring the consequences of their sin. God also rejoices when our sins and consequences are over, and God can simply be pleased to be in our presence. Isn’t it odd to talk about God being in our presence, but God is so glad to be invited into our lives and to be in relationship with us! God came to earth in Jesus to experience what we feel, and walk a mile in our shoes. God is thrilled to be invited into the often private parts of our lives. God never barges in, but comes at our invitation. It delights God when you or I open the door of our heart and say, “O God come in and share my joy,” or “O Jesus, come in and rule my unruly life.”

We can now imagine what a red-letter day it was as the Heavenly Father watched as his son on the day of his baptism! He was a grown man, ready to begin a fateful ministry. What might the Father’s emotions have been? Perhaps his emotions were mixed: Glad, on the one hand, to celebrate a day when he could say to his son, in the presence of witnesses, how pleased he was with him! But, on the other hand, it would start the clock ticking toward the cross. Still, the Heavenly Father wouldn’t miss that day for the world; there was no, “Sorry son, but I’m working out some peace issues in the far east,” or “I’ve got weather issues to face in the north” or “I’ve got so much on my plate that I can’t be there.” No; our Lord Jesus had his tremendous sense of blessing because he had been tremendously blessed by a prayerful and a guiding relationship with his Father; both of them actually, the one on earth and the one in Heaven. Good fathers often say to their child about a special event in which they will soon participate: I will not miss it; I will be there! And he was. Jesus was tremendously ready for his task because he had been intentionally blessed so that he could be a blessing to others; he was; and he is. But that day, it was all about him; even John focused attention on Jesus. Finally it was his time. The invitation to gather at the river had gone out, and the crowds had arrived. He, like others there, went into the water and then lifted his head out of the river. Perhaps the water was just dripping out of his ears when his Heavenly Father could contain his pleasure no longer. God broke some supernatural boundaries that day, perhaps out of joy: not only did his son hear his voice, the voice from heaven was surely heard by the crowd as well! In Mark’s gospel we get these intimate words: “You are me beloved son; with you I am well pleased.”

Drink that in; imagine that you can you hear your father’s voice; or your mother’s voice. Or imagine your grandparent’s voice; or a teacher’s voice, or a pastor’s voice or a Scout leader’s voice or a coach’s voice saying something like this to you: “You are amazing; I am so proud of you!” Mr. Rogers, who was a Presbyterian minister, had the television ministry called Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood. On his show, he would look right at the television camera and say to my children, and to me, and to others watching, “I like you just the way you are!” He blessed millions of viewers who were hungry to hear that. It’s great that such commendation came from a television personality. But it is priceless to get your blessing from a close family member who you love. And today you should hear it also from Heaven: God so loved you! Not just the world; not the ball of dirt; but the created ones. That’s what John 3:16 means: God loves you! May those words ring in your ears and sink into your heart, a heart that, perhaps, has longed to hear it said for ages.

Let us pray: Dear God of mercy and love: like a puppy we long to hear praise from our master. There are countless times you say such things to us, but only some or none when we actually hear them. Open our ears and eyes to hear and experience your affirmation, even through the words and actions of others. In the name of Jesus, who was affirmed in a most outstanding way. Amen.

Jeffrey A. Sumner January 8, 2012