HOPE FOR A HOUSE DIVIDED

Genesis 21: 8-21

In 1873, Walter De La Mare was born in Kent, England, of Scottish and French Huguenot blood. He was in the choir of St. Paul’s Cathedral as he grew up and he founded and edited The Choristers’ Journal, the weekly newspaper of his school. He began writing stories, among them “Kismet” was his first.  Later, in his book called TOLD AGAIN, published in 1927, he wrote these words that began a famous story: “There were once upon a time three sisters who lived in an old, high stone house in a street not very far from the great square of the city where was the palace of the King. The two eldest of these sisters were old and ugly, which is bad enough.  They were also sour and jealous, which is worse. And simply because the youngest (who was only their half-sister) was gentle and lovely, they hated her.  While they themselves sat in comfort in their fine rooms upstairs, she was made to live in a dark, stone-flagged kitchen with nothing but rats, mice, and cockroaches for company. There, in a kind of cupboard, she slept. By day she did the housework, cooking and scrubbing and sweeping and scouring. She made the beds, she washed their linens, she darned their stockings, she mended their clothes. She was never in bed till midnight; and summer or winter, she had to be up every morning at five, to fetch water, to chop up the firewood, and light the fires.” [ANTHOLOGY OF CHILDREN’S LITERATURE, 1970, Houghton Mifflin Company, p. 162.] What is the name of this story? (Cinderella?) Yes, Cinderella, in its original gruesome telling, not the nicer Walt Disney version.  Did such a story just get dreamed up in the fervent fiction mind of its author, or have human circumstances led to this morality tale of sorts which paint siblings of a stepchild in especially unlikable ways?  Could it be that those who resent their brothers- like Jacob and Esau who we will study soon, or like some Muslims and Jews and Christians have done to one another over the years- or those who resent their sisters- like this famous story- really begin to look quite despicable in the eyes of others? Are there people you know who, because of pettiness or resentment or jealousy, look especially distasteful in your eyes?  Some of the situations on which stories like “Cinderella” can be based, may be like husbands who vocally and distinctly despise and disparage their ex-wife in the hearing of children or the public. To paraphrase de la Mare’s description- you can’t believe how “ugly” you look when you do that. Or wives who despise or disparage their ex-husband in the hearing of children or the public- you can’t believe how “ugly” you look when you do that. I have heard women talking that kind of trash to others in check out lines and I’ve heard men doing it on ball fields.  Such ugliness divides households, and families, and even friendships. What are we to do with such divisions?

Today we have yet another story that has sometimes been “Disneyfied” when the real truth might have been as harsh as the tale retold by de la Mare. We pick up the story from last week in verse 8 where we learn that Isaac, the second son of Abraham, had just been weaned so he was perhaps a three year old boy. That meant first son, Ishmael was several years older, perhaps an elementary aged boy. Boys at that age often play with and tease others as I did growing up and I imagine you did; it was normal. But in this case, the text says that “the son that Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham, was “sahaq” which can mean either “playing with” or “mocking.” We might read it as “mocking” because it was enough to cause Sarah to want to send him and his mother away.  Later, in a few weeks we will read a passage where Rebekah tells her husband that he has to choose which son to bless, and here Sarah seems to be forcing the hand of the man who, together, with God, has chosen to bless them both. “Can’t be,” Sarah’s actions say. You must choose. Generally Sarah has been seen as a good woman throughout history, so today we will not disparage her. But aren’t there times when a good woman—or a good man for that matter—might let a short temper, or an ego, or some jealousy rear their ugly heads. Here Sarah uses words that perhaps indicate an earlier animosity and foreshadow the pivotal event of the Hebrew bondage in Egypt. Her words invoke old wounds, such as a person calling a black man “boy,” or calling a Mexican immigrant something ugly like “Spic.”  Just as foreign nations can view Americans through the lens of our president, and Americans may view Cubans through the lens of Castro, and North Koreans may be viewed through the lens of their dictator Kim Jung Il, but by the time we get to Exodus, Jews really didn’t have issues with Egyptians, it was with an Egyptian that they grew to know as “Pharaoh.” But back in Genesis, Sarah dehumanizes Hagar, not even calling her faithful and obedient servant by name—even though Sarah herself encouraged Hagar to have the child with her husband—the text says “she saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian”: were the seeds of discontent being planted? And what does Sarah call Hagar in her presence? She turns her back on Hagar and says to Abraham, “cast out this slave woman with her son” almost a turnabout roll, taking delight in calling an Egyptian a “slave” just as the Hebrews were later slaves under the Egyptian Pharaoh. She is throwing down the family gauntlet, and the scene, like in so many households today, is ugly! “The matter was very distressing to Abraham because of his son,” the text says. His wife is saying this in front of his boy, who is old enough to hear, understand, and get his feelings deeply hurt. Unwantedness. It is a dreadful burden for a child to carry. The text then has God say, in effect, “Don’t fight this in front of the boy; I promised to be with both of your sons, and I will.” Some would argue that Abraham should have told Sarah what for, and if we could change lines in the Bible we would have our red pencils out today, wouldn’t we? Do we read this encounter in Genesis as if Abraham and other founders of our faith never had a weak moment or times of misjudgment? Or is this story in our Bibles partly to show us how Abraham, named the Father of many nations, is human? Do Biblical readers always have to do what the Bible character does? I hope not! We have Jacob and Esau and Cain and Able and Rebekah and Isaac, and Joseph and his brothers in this book of the Bible alone! Looking back at our story, Abraham agrees to send the mother of his first child away, like getting rid of a transient woman, comforting his guilt by giving her a hunk of bread and a flask of water as she goes! A piece of bread and one small animal skin of water for her and her son to wander through the Beersheba desert! I am ashamed of the Father of many nations; and since we read that God encouraged it, one might feel a bit ashamed of God. In fact, not unlike those “Save the Children” commercials that tug at the viewer’s hearts, it looks like she gently left her son under the shade of a small bush and walked away, not wanting to watch him die! In your heart of hearts, do you find your sense of justice and indignation being pushed? I do. A fine Bible Scholar, Dr. Phyllis Tribble, does too as she wonders how Hagar feels, trying to do what people request of her and yet having them then turn on her and betray her. Tribble writes “Most especially, all sorts of rejected women find their stories in [Hagar.] She is the faithful maid exploited, the black woman used by the male and abused by the female in the ruling class, the surrogate mother, the resident alien without legal recourse, the other woman, the runaway youth, … the pregnant young woman alone, the expelled wife, the divorced mother with child, the shopping bag lady carrying bread and water, the homeless woman, the indigent relying upon handouts from the power structures, the welfare mother, and the self-effacing female whose own identity shrinks in service to others.” [NEW INTERPRETER’S BIBLE, VOL. I, Abingdon Press, p. 490.]

 But as we read further we can see God’s providence again far outshines our own. “Thank you, God, for revealing that to us!” We read that God spoke to Hagar, that God heard the voice of Ishmael, and that God let her eyes see a well of water and let his hurting ears hear that he was a blessing who would also be the source of a great nation! It almost has a “they lived happily ever after” ending: he grew up, became an expert tradesman, and in the only recording of such an act in the Old Testament, his mother picked a wife for him. And where do we read that this wife came from? In a move that might have surprised others, we learn that Hagar chose a woman from Egypt for her son; Egypt would have many memories for a Jewish man or woman over the years, again, mostly because of their leader that the Bible called Pharaoh. Two sons of Abraham, two strong wives to help form their new nations. A Jewish scholar wrote these surprising words about that event: “Isaac and Ishmael meet only once more in their lives: when they bury Abraham.” (Sometimes our families only get together at funerals and weddings too!) God’s promise to Hagar was fulfilled. A great nation, the Arabs, believe themselves to descend from Ishmael, and eventually they become far more numerous than the nation that proceeds from Isaac.” (Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, [BIBLICAL LITERACY, 1997, P.31]

Today our young people have friends of many faiths, many colors, many understandings. Yet many in our world still have trouble deciding where and if lines should be drawn. Some have grown up when the bad guys were the Nazis, to others it was the Communists; these days it seems to be the terrorists. But, one leader’s actions should not cast a pall of dislike over an entire nation, even though that is the conclusion that is often drawn. In fact, it may be easier to appreciate the siblings of Osama Bin Laden, who are innocent family members of a terrorist, than it is to say kind words and show love to certain family members when a divorce or remarriage has occurred. Such hateful words I hear in those circumstances, and others, young ears and old, hear them too. This story reminds us that God blessed not only Isaac, but also Ishmael. God wants to bless you, but also sees the one you despise as “his child.” Working to bless the children of the world begins at home with you, and with me. Even Hagar found a most unexpected choice of a woman for her son to marry. What unexpected things can you do, to show compassion and blessing to other people in our world, in our neighborhoods, or in our homes? How hard the choices must have been for Abraham and Sarah; how hard they may be for us as well. What will you choose to do? In a more innocent time, the words “Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me” were written. Is that thought just a fairy tale, a tall tale, or could it actually happen if we all put our minds to it?  I’ll work to make peace in my own life by making changes in the days ahead. What about you? What one thing, or two things, could you do to make a tense and hostile situation better? Hear God’s encouraging words in your ear as you start that hard but needed work.

Jeffrey A. Sumner                                                     June 22, 2008